Running From Insanity

Tales of an anxiety-ridden, ADD havin', unorganized, sarcastic, socially inept, awkward, introverted hot mess.

Fall is back and this time it’s different

So, FALL is upon us – ONCE AGAIN. I feel truly blessed to witness this phenomenous (when you’re a legit blogger, you can just make shit up) occasion!  I always tell my youngins that once school starts, mommy’s birthday starts the string of holidays, and so you might as well just hang on tight, because the Elf is just right around the corner! (blog coming soon!)

Fall blog
Here’s a token picture of me and my pumpkin beer. I’ve worked SO hard for that beer this year. Lemme splain why.
I have had a HUGE hankering, like side splitting, a passionate yearning, a desperate inner PLEA, to return to school after years of not being able to. It’s been semester after semester of not being able to make it happen, and it’s been number one on my bucket list, aside from my beautiful family’s happiness and success. Blah, blah. For real though, now that my life has fallen into place, and things have become perfectly aligned, HENCEFORTH, my inner nerd decided to spring forward and take the bull by the ballhorns. Inner Nerd Girl said: “It’s time, beeeeeyotch.” 
FallThere’s something new featured in my yearly fall blog pic. See the beautiful UCF cup? The logo that has haunted my conscience for YEARS with guilt ridden angst, the logo that made me question my tenure of immature 20’s. This logo I am proud of, because I appreciate it so much more now. This fall is HELLA special – one that I will never, ever be able to erase from my brainwaves.
ucf5
Once the mind was made up, that was only the first step to this complicated venture. First, determination, next re-application, then wait for the re-acceptance, deal with some red tape with enrollment date, then enroll for the class. I would love to say that it was just that simple. NOOP. Raising the money – for me, this is the crucial element that has always been my biggest obstacle. How in the shitbung am I going to raise money? I can never even scrape together a dolla for a cup of piss java through a vending machine. So, how do I raise $600 extra dollars of money that won’t affect my family budget, where I can say to my husband after the fact: “Oh, but dear – I have the money already.”
 moneySee, like I’ve probably told each of you individually a million shitjillion times, I made some mistakes in my youth, not only maturity wise, but I made some wrong choices with schooling, along with some pell grants and student loans. I just literally kicked myself in my ass again just for having to think about it again. What a freaking shit show. Anyhoo – because not only am I not the breadwinner, and I do have an astronomical student loan that my great-grandkids will probably inherit, my husband is a little salty, and just doesn’t see the need. But, I do, because it is a permanent hole that will forever reside in my frozen heart chamber. Just a little back story of why it might be taking me so long to receive my schoolin.’
   money2
 Anyhoo – I started off in about April selling some things on eBay. I decided anything that I was not married to or gave birth to was going up for sale. I did decent, and then realized that I had previously planned a trip that I had to use some of that money for. Okay, cool. Start over. Take two! I got a pet sitting gig! I had 2 different houses that I went to twice a day for a week, and I made some great jack. Well, some crazy, unfortunate crap happened to my bank account so I did make an alleged emergency trip to the bank in a quick like skidding in the street manner. Take three!
fall blog2

Look at my cool school books! Look how official!

Thank goodness for so many people who gave me stuff to sell on EBay. My mom gave me some high dollar items and this gave me the start that I needed. THANK YOU SO MUCH! My daughters came to my room one night also and gave me a lot of old clothes and books because they knew I was trying to go to school. They’re incredibly sweet and they make me so proud. So many family members (including my pet sitting friends who tried to overpay me :) and my husband also started handing me items to sell. Luckily, I ended up with what I needed, and I can’t ever thank those people who know how much this means to me. My husband is completely on board and I can’t even explain how the support of him and everyone else gives me that extra boost, a chronic virtual hug, or a chronic kick in the arse, whatever.

I absolutely love my class. I love being in school, and I take it very seriously. I am so incredibly happy to be doing this and it is one of the most exciting things aside from my amazing family. I have a 96% average right now, and although I feel like I need some extra credit work, or to secure a tutor to bring up my pathetic average, I also think on the other hand, that is not too shabby for a student who is twice (BAH) the age of everyone in the class.

So, FALL – I love you so much. I appreciate my pumpkin spice more than ever, especially since they’re harder to come by these days. These days that I’ll remember forever, as I do homework at night the same time as my kids, as I sit at my laptop and laugh at the stupid story that I am getting ready to turn in for my creative writing class, and think to myself how lucky and excitedly giddy I am to find myself upon another fall, the season that I love so much. The season that is a little bit different this year. Thank God.

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