Miss Musings

A modern miss provides commentary on sociological and psychological issues concerning politics, the media, literature, and everyday observances.

Why it’s Okay to be a Single Millennial

What do young singles and Pringles have in common? They are both a bit salty. 

All jokes aside, it can be unexpectedly difficult being a single millennial. I spent the first quarter of 2015 dating, and entered college single. At times it seems like everyone is in a relationship, operating as half of a whole, and you may wonder if you are as happy as you could be. I know at times I missed the emotional bond and security I felt while I was with someone else, but when I came home for winter break, I had a reality check.

Courtesy of LikeGif.com

Courtesy of LikeGif.com

To quote Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast at Tiffany’s, “We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us.” While being in a relationship does not require you giving away your whole self to a person, it is natural to give away your head and heart to your partner. I know personally that it is challenging to put yourself first when you are dating someone, and that dating becomes a bit of an extracurricular at times. It distracts you from you, as you begin to develop alongside someone instead of paving your own way.

Do not be mistaken: I believe relationships are wonderful structures that provide support and comfort. But, there are tremendous benefits to being alone as a young person. For example, my free time is spent on creative projects such as writing, reading, crocheting, and drawing. I can go to class dressed up for myself, or in sweats and a t-shirt. I can make big plans to travel or to lay in bed and read for a week during breaks from school. My life is governed by myself alone, and I am drawing the map that I can choose to follow or discard. Being single warrants freedom, and freedom yields lots of room for self discovery.

There was a time a few months ago when I was desperate to be a part of something, because let’s face it, relationships are gushy and glamorous. There is a reason we all secretly love cheesy romantic comedies and re-read Pride & Prejudice out of our own volition. Yet now, I am comfortable in this state of singleness. It has allowed me to focus on deepening magical friendships, taking care of my family, and finding opportunities to have fun and seek success at my university. While I am not opposed to dating, I am no longer looking for another person to make me feel great about myself. I make me feel great about myself, and there is something powerful about a type of deeply-rooted confidence that will never let me down.

 

2014 in review: #thestruggle, coffee and wonder

Only four more days of 2014 await me, and I have to say this year was one of the most oddly comforting and emotionally-draining of all.

I have written more essays than I have for all of my English classes in the last five or so months, attempting to drag my underdeveloped and elusive “life’s story” out of my heart and thrust it onto Word documents. With my hair unbrushed, brain tired and wired, I spent a good deal of time this year wondering who I am and where I am going with my life. Just when one believes every path is clear: job, college choice, major choice, people choice, every choice seems to be a chore and the cleverly designed flow chart suddenly disconnects and flies in lost directions. My story is just like everyone else’s: school, primarily, and confusion, more of it spurred by self exploration that colleges so eagerly seek from applicants. The anxiety is everlasting, but perhaps the product of self-understanding will be attainable and wonderful.

2014 also brought on a slew of college classes, quickly blossomed and fizzled friendships as well as dreamily deep ones, broken hearts and mending hugs. But doesn’t growing up spark all this anyway? Stress seems like a daily occurrence, but so do smiles, and I have never felt more contently polarized.

I discovered the supreme joys of coffee this year on a revealing adventure to New York, and I drink it daily to remind myself that wherever I go, I will leave my heart in the city of dreams, swirling in the turbulent Starry Night and scanning the skyline from a position of power and appreciation.

 

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2015 will be everything a girl could want: working & packing & learning & living & loving. In a few months I could be anywhere in America, hopefully with a mapped out yet flexible plan in mind for how I will use my time. In four months, Miss Musings will turn one, and will serve as a log of my cognitive and writing development over a special time in life.

I hope I have incurable wanderlust and a year of wonderment, but not wondering – instead, achieving happiness on my lifelong quest for contentment. 2015’s journey will be sunny with fireworks and Orlandonian magic, and I will walk with, under, and toward its light.

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