Miss Musings

A modern miss provides commentary on sociological and psychological issues concerning politics, the media, literature, and everyday observances.

13 ways to know you are from Orlando

Want to know if you are really from Orlando? Here are thirteen signs that The City Beautiful is more than a vacation destination to you.

1. You get annoyed when people call UCF “Central Florida.”

 

2. No one asks “where are you from?” at the Florida Mall. They know. 

 

3. Winter Park is as close as you are going to get to an artsy cultural town.

 

4. Downtown Orlando has a baby skyline that you can’t help loving, even if literally all of the buildings are banks. 

 

5. You never go to Disney – like ever. You went to Disney before it was cool. 

“Can we go to Disney — “

 

6. The beach is a distant memory… the B-line is an all too real daily nightmare. 

 

7. International drive drives you bonkers. 

 

8. You get McDonald’s at the largest McDonald’s in the world. Oh yeah. 

 

9. NOLE OR GATOR FAN? You side with your hometown Knights. Right on.

 

10. Driving past a Starbucks?

 

11. You can go home and dry off if you decide to ride Popeye at Islands of Adventure. (Score!)

 

12. Buying presents for Disney fans is as easy as stepping into a local Target or Walmart. Or stepping anywhere, in fact.

 

13. Riding on I-4 today?

 

But in the end, no matter how much you love or hate Orlando…

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8 ways NYC is like an Orlando theme park

Not long ago I found myself muddling through crowds, standing astounded on Main Street, and taking short cuts to avoid human traffic jams. But instead of the setting of Universal Studios Orlando, my adventure took place in New York City.

New York City. Courtesy of Miss Musings.

New York City. Courtesy of Miss Musings.

Everyone had told me that New York was this and that – a sewer trap ridden with rats and rude, accented remarks. I had to walk fast or be trampled. Pick pockets are everywhere. New York was absolutely nothing like this; in fact, navigating the big apple was as easy as snaking through any of Orlando’s theme parks.

Here’s how New York and a theme park are similar:

  1. You need to walk fast, but people won’t hurt you if you don’t.
  2. There are (surprisingly short) lines that are avoidable if you look for the short cuts.
  3. The tourist areas are sketchy, but you can find a tranquil haven on a bench in some green space.
  4. No one knows where anything is.
  5. People will randomly stop in front of you to take a photo of something mundane.
  6. There are people in costumes in Times Square, but they will ask you for a tip unlike the character performers at Disney.
  7. Food is everywhere, albeit expensive.
  8. Instead of Mickey Mouse ears, everyone is wearing NYPD and New York Yankee shirts. EVERYONE.

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Oddly enough, I found New York City and Orlando to be close cousins, if not twins. The two towns are similar, and if you can navigate Disney safely and with alacrity, New York City will be just like another theme park.