Sometimes when I befriend others their shoulders turn icy toward me a few months into our engagement. While I stay chipper and friendly, they become somewhat… well… aloof and detached.
When people who turn cold toward you for seemingly no reason, it is time to break out your microscope and find that grain of salt; people have their bad days and worse moods, and sometimes these funks can last for a long time. Or, people could simply learn that you are not their type of person. This brings me to my first point: not everyone is going to like you. And yet this is precisely why you should never change to “please other people:” some people just are not going to be pleased with your true self, let alone your adjusted self.
In this case, the grain of salt refers to self acceptance; you may not be the person that will cheer this human up. However, you will find that in other scenarios, as I have found, people who are kind to you at first and then change their behaviors are often intimidated. I am someone who does not hide my feelings well, so when I have good news, I share it. I never brag. I take compliments humbly. It does not matter; people still get scared, even in the middle of their congratulations. This often spurs passive-aggressive behavior that most people fall back on to establish their faux hierarchy of superiority. It is all highly predictable behavior, albeit inopportune.
Unfortunately, aloof behavior that is triggered by the fear of power, overwhelming intellect, or unattainable talent can be suppressive. You may feel that you can’t share your great news with anyone, as you could “lose friends” over being happy about personal accomplishments. In truth, those who are intimidated by your achievements for more than a minute, and burn bridges due to their fear, possibly are not spending enough time creating their own successes. So, show what you know; just do not brag. If someone can’t hang with you when you are awarded for being yourself and working hard, maybe that is his or her own concern.
Go ahead – be yourself. Accept those awards. Be humble. Don’t fret if people can’t handle it.