Little Miss Scare-All

A college goth trying to find her way in the world.

Dealing with non-goth family members this holiday season

When you’re sitting between the rich colors of a holiday meal and your conservative, pastel-wearing family members, it can be hard to hide the darkness of your outfit and overall aesthetic. Chances are you’ll get snide comments and backhanded compliments throughout the night. It can be hard and sometimes hurtful to have to deal with people who refuse to accept you for who you are, but never fear!

Here are five common rude remarks and how to deal with them:

Black is lovely, but when are you going to wear more color?

This judgment can also be disguised as “I bet I can guess what your favorite color is!” but it’s still unnecessary no matter how you put it. Make them realize how great you have it by mentioning that you never have to separate your clothes when you do laundry. Who needs all that extra work anyway?

The boys/girls aren’t going to want you if you look like that.

Maybe not the condemnatory people these family members are interested in, thankfully. If anything, this is an easy one to answer; just let them know that everyone has different tastes. If this person refuses to believe you, point out that there was most definitely a point in time in which Siouxsie Sioux was married.

Siouxsie Sioux is having NONE of your critiques. (photo courtesy of Siouxsie Sioux)

Siouxsie Sioux is having NONE of your critiques. (photo courtesy of Siouxsie Sioux)

I thought Halloween was over.

While this is a particularly observant addition to the conversation, it’s rather pointless. I’m pretty sure everyone around the table knows that we’re finishing off November and delving into December. Bring up the fact that this doesn’t matter anyway since time seems to be an illusion. I mean, stores have been putting out Christmas decorations for two months now.

When are you finally going to grow out of that phase?

Well gosh darn, ain’t this the longest phase the world has ever seen. I mean, really, I’ve been going at this for quite some time now. Return the question with another question: What about you, [insert family name here]? You’ve been wearing color since I’ve met you. My goth friends are starting to worry.

Should we call a therapist? They're wearing so much color! (photo courtesy of Norman Rockwell)

Should we call a therapist? They all look so conventional! (photo courtesy of Norman Rockwell)

That’s not very Christian-like.

Ah yes, the most hypocritical comment of them all. I’m pretty sure that the bible never mentioned anything condemning the stylish ways of goth fashion, but remind this family member that there was most definitely a passage about not judging others. Funny how people always seem to forget that one…


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