Little Miss Scare-All

A college goth trying to find her way in the world.
Dealing with non-goth family members this holiday season

Dealing with non-goth family members this holiday season

When you’re sitting between the rich colors of a holiday meal and your conservative, pastel-wearing family members, it can be hard to hide the darkness of your outfit and overall aesthetic. Chances are you’ll get snide comments and backhanded compliments throughout the night. It can be hard and sometimes hurtful to have to deal with people who refuse to accept you for who you are, but never fear!

Here are five common rude remarks and how to deal with them:

Black is lovely, but when are you going to wear more color?

This judgment can also be disguised as “I bet I can guess what your favorite color is!” but it’s still unnecessary no matter how you put it. Make them realize how great you have it by mentioning that you never have to separate your clothes when you do laundry. Who needs all that extra work anyway?

The boys/girls aren’t going to want you if you look like that.

Maybe not the condemnatory people these family members are interested in, thankfully. If anything, this is an easy one to answer; just let them know that everyone has different tastes. If this person refuses to believe you, point out that there was most definitely a point in time in which Siouxsie Sioux was married.

Siouxsie Sioux is having NONE of your critiques. (photo courtesy of Siouxsie Sioux)

Siouxsie Sioux is having NONE of your critiques. (photo courtesy of Siouxsie Sioux)

I thought Halloween was over.

While this is a particularly observant addition to the conversation, it’s rather pointless. I’m pretty sure everyone around the table knows that we’re finishing off November and delving into December. Bring up the fact that this doesn’t matter anyway since time seems to be an illusion. I mean, stores have been putting out Christmas decorations for two months now.

When are you finally going to grow out of that phase?

Well gosh darn, ain’t this the longest phase the world has ever seen. I mean, really, I’ve been going at this for quite some time now. Return the question with another question: What about you, [insert family name here]? You’ve been wearing color since I’ve met you. My goth friends are starting to worry.

Should we call a therapist? They're wearing so much color! (photo courtesy of Norman Rockwell)

Should we call a therapist? They all look so conventional! (photo courtesy of Norman Rockwell)

That’s not very Christian-like.

Ah yes, the most hypocritical comment of them all. I’m pretty sure that the bible never mentioned anything condemning the stylish ways of goth fashion, but remind this family member that there was most definitely a passage about not judging others. Funny how people always seem to forget that one…

 

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Twitter: @TheKimSlichter

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Horror shouldn’t be judged by how scary it is

Horror shouldn’t be judged by how scary it is

The Internet is abuzz with people stating that they’ve found the scariest movie of the past few years. These posts are so sure of themselves, that is until they find the next scariest horror film the following week. I’ve got one site declaring The Witch to be unbearably terrifying while another calls The Taking of Deborah Logan the most horrifying movie on Netflix.

I see posts like these all the time and while their air of certainty may vary, there’s one thing that stays the same: the comments.

A collection of screenshots I recently took from a Facebook comment section.

A collection of screenshots I recently took from a Facebook comment section.

An overwhelming about of them will be about how the movie isn’t scary at all which somehow leads to the conclusion that it’s a waste of time. What a narrow-minded and simplistic method of judgment. This one-step way of declaring a verdict would leave me without horror films to love.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching horror movies since my toddler years, but I’ve never once been scared by one, and yet it’s one of my favorite genres. While I’m sure it’s a thrill having a piece of entertainment leave you unnerved and suspicious of every dark corner as you crawl into bed at night, I see it as a mere bonus.

It’s telling that some of the classics aren’t host to a spine-chilling effect; I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t love Night of the Living Dead, but I’ve also never met anyone who’s been scared by it.

This is a journey of survival in a horror environment. Enjoyable without the need for absolute terror.

This is a journey of survival in a horror environment. Entertaining without the need for absolute terror. (photo courtesy of The Water Reade Organization)

I’ve been seeing a lot of praise for Kristy this week (sidenote: you’re better off watching You’re Next) but I don’t see many instances in which someone could actually be scared by it.

This is a genre routed in the psychological with an occasional dash of comedy. It’s why Rosemary’s Baby is more mysterious than anything else and why many people enjoy watching Black Christmas when December rolls in.

If a movie is actually scary, by all means, applaud it, but it shouldn’t be the most important box on the “Is a horror movie worth it?” checklist.

With the desensitization brought to us by the Internet age, there’s not much that can scare the general population anymore. I think the only person that’s been scared by a movie recently has been my sister, and that’s just because it’s not that hard to have that affect on her. If we don’t stop holding horror to currently unreachable standards, we’re all going to be a very unhappy bunch. Enjoy it for the ride; that’s what it’s there for.

 

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Twitter: @TheKimSlichter

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It’s okay to not look goth enough

It’s okay to not look goth enough

Venturing into goth fashion territory is as complicated as it is expensive.

After figuring out what style you want to go for, be it cyber, pastel or what have you, you actually have to find the clothes. If you can’t sew, it’s mostly online shopping, and if you’re not graced with a fat wallet, it’ll take a while to build up a decent wardrobe.

Then there’s the makeup. Goth fashion is known for extensive delving into contour and eyebrow shaping. Dramatic lipsticks and smooth eyeshadow gradients are worshiped, but this too is expensive. It’s even worse if you have the money but lack the proper skill.

This leaves many people, myself included, in an uncomfortable spot. We don’t look conventional enough to fit in with the day-to-day crowd of average life, but we’re not extreme enough to look like the goths the Internet admires. It can be taxing on your self-esteem when a variety of obstacles stop you from looking the way you want to look.

Even though I struggle with this on a daily basis, I’m here to say that it’s okay to not look “goth enough.”

An embarrasing picture of me from Aug. 2014 when all I had to my goth name was some black clothes and combat boots. Note the lack of black hair.

An embarrassing picture of me from Aug. 2014 when all I had to my goth name was some black clothes and combat boots. Note the lack of black hair.

If I’ve noticed anything in my journey into gothness in the past year, it’s that there’s always something that you have to do. After I dyed my hair black, I needed to get some edgy dresses. After that, some cute shoes. Eventually I’d have to cash out for some decent makeup. Every time I crossed something off of my list, another item appeared, and while they were definitely things I wanted to have, I finally realized that I shouldn’t be saddened that I hadn’t reached my physical goal yet.

I accept that I won’t have tattoos or piercings relatively soon. I’ll also won’t have an ideal wardrobe for many more years because, just like my movie collection, it’ll take time to grow. Between school and Rocky Horror, I don’t have time to learn how to properly apply makeup. But that’s life.

For goths, there’s very much a “go big or go home” mentality, and while this can be inspirational for those starting to involve themselves in the culture, it can be toxic as well.

(photo courtesy of Elvira)

(photo courtesy of Elvira)

It’s okay to be in the beginning stages of something, and it’s okay if you never move on from those stages. It shouldn’t be a competition to see who can be more goth. All Elvira had was a hairstyle, a nice dress and some red lipstick. Simplicity is nothing to be ashamed of.

 

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Twitter: @TheKimSlichter

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Ash vs. Evil Dead pilot promising, too self-aware

Ash vs. Evil Dead pilot promising, too self-aware

Legend calls him El Jefe, the big bossman who’s destined to conquer evil. His mighty hand of (careless) destruction will cleanse the world of the deadite invasion currently underway. Ash Williams is back, baby, and he hasn’t missed a beat.

Ash vs. Evil Dead premiered Saturday on Starz, and I finally had a chance to catch up on the madness our beloved protagonist has unleashed. I’m relieved to say that the delectable form of superiority-based one-liners still finds itself at the core of the Evil Dead series.

It all starts with our suave man and his mess of a life. He’s let himself go and has succumbed to visiting bars and spinning out cheap lies in order to get a quick one from the first woman he sees. In the midst of said activities, a monstrous transformation takes place and suddenly the woman he’s pummeling into has the face of the evil he thought he had defeated 30 years ago.

Her face returns to normal, but Ash is still troubled. Could the deadite army really be back?

(photo courtesy of Starz)

(photo courtesy of Starz)

Turns out that they are, reappearing after he recited some lines from the Necronomicon while under the influence and trying to impress a girl. The world is counting on him to save the day, but he needs some convincing first. Cue his new sidekicks and Value Stop coworkers, the clumsy Pablo and the fierce Kelly.

The action scenes aren’t so much tense as they are comical, and it’s fun seeing Ash being unwillingly forced into this bloody hell once again. This guy can never catch a break, but the air of cool he has through all this strife is amusing.

There’s still a chance that this flow of hilarity might dry up during the season though.

Sometimes the pilot had me worrying that the writers have become too self-aware of what made Army of Darkness work. It’s not that things are ruined because legal issues won’t let them draw from the movie. The problem is with the show itself; scenes were occasionally ridiculous and over the top just for the sake of being ridiculous and over the top.

(photo courtesy of Starz)

(photo courtesy of Starz)

The fight scene in which Pablo finds out about what’s happening is a perfect example of this. A doll becomes possessed and attacks Ash ruthlessly. I guess we’re supposed to be laughing because it’s a tiny little princess releasing a gush of fury upon a fully grown man, but it came off as an unnatural way to get the exposition scene going.

The special effects themselves are insanely bad, but the Evil Dead series has a silly ring to it, so I’ll let that one slide. Either way, there’s still many more episodes to go, especially now that Starz has ordered another season. Let’s see where Ash’s journey goes.

 

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Twitter: @TheKimSlichter

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Spooky Empire haunts Orlando for Halloween weekend

Spooky Empire haunts Orlando for Halloween weekend

The Halloween weekend was positively ghoulish with the return of Orlando’s horror convention, Spooky Empire, which took over the Hyatt Regency on International Drive.

From the moment I walked on in, I noticed how much better this convention was than the overhyped MegaCon.

For one, it was organized. Getting an autograph didn’t result in stupidly long waits that suffocated the vendor area. Instead of putting all attendees in one line no matter who they’re there to see, each booth had its own mini line. And if you couldn’t find out how to meet the guests? Well, the staff was actually helpful. Amazing, really.

Who knew the Creature was so talented?

Who knew the Creature was so talented?

The guests themselves were from deep within the horror genre or at least on the fringes of it. George Romero and Butch Patrick made their iconic presence known as did Machete and Barry Bostwick. Even the timing for these meet and greets were more reasonable; the guests were there for the majority of the day instead of awkwardly scheduled scraps throughout the con.

The vendor area next to this section was not too big, but it was enough to have some variety. It featured everything from bones to clothing to prints and DVDs. Although many items were pricey, it was a nice to not have to pay for shipping. Many of the booths had stuff that can only be found online, so I think it’s smart to take advantage of these vendors. This is especially true if you’re looking for XS clothing sizes.

Finding dresses that fit me is a constant problem, but I was able to find at least two stores that were stocked with my size. There wasn’t much to choose from, but what was there was incredibly cute and usually had a reasonable price tag given the design.

What I was bothered by was the lack of food options. There weren’t many choices, and even for a convention, the attack on my wallet was a bit much. After hacking out $5 for a small muffin, I gave up and explored the restaurants outside the venue. I’m not surprised that I lost a few pounds that day.

Sadly, I was only able to go on Saturday, so I missed some of the events, such as the Repo! shadowcast, but what I did go to was enjoyable. The short film fest wasn’t filled with ground breaking ventures, but it was a nice little break from the walking around. The Creepy Kids panel was full of insightful discussion, and The Shining Twins are positively adorable.

Had to stop myself from driving away with this.

Had to stop myself from driving away with this.

In between events, there were quick avenues to explore, such as the arcade room and the carnival exhibit. As long as you searched for it, there was always something to do.

I finished the night off with the Rocky Horror shadowcast, which my friend Mike was in as Eddie, and it was such an odd experience, and I mean that in the best of ways. I haven’t been to a Rocky show as an audience member for many, many months, so the observer role was jarring. Even more so was hearing how different audience members have different AP lines on their tongues.

For those wondering, yeah, I was that one girl who was screaming out lines every two seconds. You’re welcome.

Spooky Empire isn’t something I see myself going to for a full weekend, but it’s a nice full day adventure that I’m glad to have gone on. If my bank account allows for it, I definitely see myself returning.


As is with most cons, one of my favorite parts is seeing the cosplaying diversity. I saw a million Harley Quinns and about a dozen Addams Families, but some people really outdid themselves. Check out the gallery below for a few examples.

 

Don’t forget to follow me on social media!

Twitter: @TheKimSlichter

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