Are you a reason or a season?
It is very hard kicking someone out of your life, especially when there’s history. Do you just forget the person and the memories? No, you should always cherish the memories you held them close for a reason. Sometimes you have to let go of the negative energy in order to embrace the positive. People are placed in your life for a reason or a season. A reason is a friend that you learn from, who will always have your back, and never let you down. A season is someone I would consider a friend, rather an associate that you learn from. A season is a temporary position just like the change from fall to winter. It was such a challenging experience letting this person go because she always pulled at my heartstrings. I was her protector; it didn’t matter if we went years without seeing each other we picked up right where we left off.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said that many people will walk in and out of your life, but real friends will leave footprints on your heart. That quote has resonated with me from the first time I read it. I have applied it to all the relationships I’ve had since with others. Friendship is something that I cherish; if I consider you a friend we will have a bond forever. Many of my friends I have know since childhood, and it’s a privilege to have them in my life. But there was a period in time that I made the hardest decision of letting go of a cherished best friend. This person was more than just a friend she was like a sister to me. Now don’t get me wrong I believe in giving a person a second and third chance to redeem themselves but I don’t like to be made into a fool.
Our downfall began when I had a very painful life event happened and my “friend” chose the side of my tormentor. At first, I thought maybe she didn’t understand that this hurt me. So, I decided to have a conversation with her about it. After all we had be friends since middle school. Well—that conversation went sour causing more friction. We wouldn’t talk again for five years. She came to town a year ago deciding to reach out to me. I was hesitant seeking counsel from my mother, she told me to give her the benefit of the doubt. I did after all we had been friends since we were kids. One thing I had to realize is were aren’t obligated to continue a friendship with someone who causes you personal aguish. I agreed to have a conversation with this person, and it’s something I will forever regret doing. As an adult you are responsible for your own actions if life doesn’t go your way. This person assumed I would be there when I had proven many times over that I would. In fact as I write this blog I feel somewhat protective of the relationship we had. We had a conversation that appeared to linger in the positive direction we both parties accepting their part in the demise of the relationship; until we discussed the root of the problem. This person wanted to deflect all the negative towards me. That’s when I decided that enough was enough. She wasn’t adult enough to see the error of her ways, and I was no longer willing to be the fall guy. I had to love her from a distance, which hurt me, but it was the only healthy solution I could find. The saddest part is I often miss her tremendously, but it’s the memory of a lost friendship I will continue to cherish.
Losing a friend sucks!
P.S. I would give her a big hug today if I saw her. I just need her to understand her part in our tragedy.