Candidly Elle

I'm just a girl in love with words and sentences.

Josh Duggar: Does he deserve forgiveness?

When I heard about this latest revelation from the Duggar family, I can’t say that I wasn’t too shocked about it. Now I’m not saying that I wasn’t a fan of the show I was; however there was always that thought in the back of my mind that something wasn’t up to par. Its fine if you want to have 137 19 kids it’s not our responsibility to judge your reproduction. I as many people tend to have voiced their negative feeling towards the Duggars solely because they’re very vocal about how they live often criticizing those who go against their beliefs. You believing in procreating is fine that doesn’t mean everyone will share the same notion or are less than human if they have a different opinion. What I did find odd the many people online agreeing that he should somehow get a “forgiveness pass” because he repented for crimes he should have been punished for. My opinion wouldn’t be so vocal if that family wasn’t big hypocrites. You can promote family values and hid the fact that you son has exhibit vile behavior.

Photo Credit: Duggar Family Blog

Photo Credit: Duggar Family Blog

This family is very discriminatory, especially the rights of LGBT and women’s abortion rights, women should have the right to choose and the LGBT community should have the same civil rights as all Americans. Michelle Duggar made a robocall against ordnance 119 opposing the anti-discrimination law in her state. She voiced last year that “The Fayetteville City Council is voting on an ordinance this Tuesday night that would allow men – yes I said men – to use women’s and girls restrooms, locker rooms, showers, sleeping areas and other areas that are designated for females only.” I don’t believe that Mrs. Duggar understands child predatory laws, if a person is convicted as a sex offender they aren’t allow around children period. They would remain on the child sex offender list forever making it illegal to be around children. Her statement was null and void; the message was discriminatory in nature aiming solely towards the gay community. You can use the family values line of morality then discriminate. By the way the ordnance was later repealed in December.

 

Photo Credit: DANNY JOHNSTON/AP

Photo Credit: DANNY JOHNSTON/AP

I found this stance odd considering the entire Duggar clan knew that Josh had molested five girls, four of the alleged girls are Duggars with the fifth girl unknown (victims names redacted, report shows four of the victims lived in the Duggar home). Josh made a statement to the public via People Magazine admitting to the accusations saying that he “acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret.” He would then turn to his parents who sought out help from the church Elders, then notifying a Police Officer family friend. That police office is now serving time for child pornography. Jim Bob Duggar refused to let authorities question Josh on the alleged accusations. Josh apologized to the church then sent away for “Counseling” which turned in to the accused Duggar working on a construction site of another family friend for three months. Duggar never received the profession help he needed, as the family would turn again to faith “relying on God more than ever.

As a Christian I believe in redemption, no judgment there. Many people have redeeming qualities; it seems to me there was zero redemption and a lot of lies to the public. If you commit a crime you should be punished especially when it involves the safety of minor child. Josh Duggar committed a crime that his family tried to cover up. These allegations came out nine years ago after an email was sent to The Oprah Winfrey Show the day before the family were due to appear. Winfrey cancelled the appearance forwarding the email to the authorities.

My problem is do we excuse this and give him a pass? Personally, I say no. We as humans can agree to disagree on many things this subject I stand firm. I liked this show due to its preconceived family values and love of the God. He’s being treated by some as a victim; he is not the girls he alleged molested are the real victims here. I don’t think the entire family should be punished the other kids aren’t to blame here. The parents and son are to blame here. I’m mad as a mother of a young daughter. If Josh Duggar were a normal person out of the spotlight there wouldn’t be pause for further questions. He would have been punished.

Duggar with wife Anna and Kids. Photo Credit: PEOPLE MAGAZINE

Duggar, wife Anna and Kids.
Photo Credit: PEOPLE MAGAZINE

TLC should take a stance doing what is right by canceling 19 Kids and Counting. I believe TLC knew about these alleged accusations doing nothing because this show was a cash cow for the network. So far reruns for 19 Kids and Counting are pull from the networks current program. But the fate of the show is still in the air. Many sponsors like General Mills have pulled their advertising from the show. More are expected to follow.  This situation pangs me something terrible, this was a show I could watch with my children in lieu of the many terrible reality shows on television. All families have secrets and issues; to me this family perpetrated a fraudulent life to the public. My grandmother always said “what you do in the dark, will come to light…” I guess this is an awakening moment for the Duggar family. I can’t speak for every viewer, this former viewer can no longer support this show or family. I pray for the victims they aren’t at fault here, just victims of circumstance.  That’s my opinion for now.

Always Candid,

Elle

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Mother’s Day gift ideas for the writer mom.

Mother’s Day gift ideas for the writer mom.

Gifts for a Writer Mom on Mother’s Day

Mother’s will love anything gift you give them from the heart. I know this for a fact, my children have given me plenty of homemade/school made guest that I love and cherish to this day. However I love it when they me gift that are specific to my career as a writer. With Mother’s Day peeping up this Sunday there are many gifts to give mom on this special day. Sure you can make breakfast in bed or buy a thoughtful card it is the thought that counts. But what go you get for that special personalized gift for the mommy who has a passion for writing (or reading)? Here are a few ideas just for mom for under $30.

(The prices and links to these ideas are attached to their photo.)

     1. Journal-An inscribed journal with personal author quotes. My favorite is the Aitao Journal Diary String Key Retro Vintage Classic Leather Bound Notebook Dark Coffee:

Aitao Journal, Photo amazon.com

Aitao Journal $7.18,
                   Photo amazon.com

     2. Starbucks gift card-Help mom earn more stars and inch further to that gold personalized reward card. Plus, writers love coffee!

Photo Starbucks.com

Photo Starbucks.com $25.00 minimum gift card purchase.

     3. Personalize items-CafePress.com has a wonderful collection of mugs and bags for the avid writer.

Writers Block Tote, Photo CafePress.com

Writers Block Tote $14.99,
                 Photo CafePress.com

     4. Motivation to write with this cool “Peace Love Write” t-shirt. There’s nothing like a few words of encouragement from love ones only with a few hours or day of quiet to write or read. The gift of silence is priceless for those fervent readers and writers.

Peace Love Write T-shirt courtesy of CafePress.com

Peace Love Write T-shirt                                                                       Courtesy of  www.CafePress.com

All of these gifts paired together(or separate) would make a very stylish mom on Sunday! Don’t forget shower her with love on that special day, shower mom with love the entire day. Sometimes writers lose focus, but a kind word never lost a friend. Tell mom you love her and you’re proud of the writing goals she’s accomplished. I’m sure Mom will be enjoy her special day either way!

Happy Mother’s Day,

Elle <3

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An Ode to My Grandmother

An Ode to My Grandmother

In celebration of Mother’s Day, I thought I would share a story that I wrote about my grandmother after she passed away. It’s deeply personally, my granny was a second mother to me because my mom often worked two jobs as a single parent. We shared a lot over the years, she was one of the main reasons I became an avid reader and eventual writer.

Butterfly tattoo in her memory, Photo Elle Henry

Butterfly tattoo in her memory,
Photo Elle Henry

Wake me up when December ends…Pt two

It was stillness in the air that day and a pain in my heart that has never healed. Death had hit me twice that sweet December and I wasn’t ready for my next journey. I looked out the window and tried to think of yesterday years that passed “The good ole days” that would be nevermore. No more cheesecake, TV land and late-night talks about absolutely nothing and no more grandmother. I promised myself that I would be strong for my mother, after all this was her mother and she was in a very fragile state. But granny was my second mom, confidant and my everything. As I stare out at passing cars, trees, stoplights and traffic. I realize that life in an instant can be taken away and in that same instance continue to move forward. I grappled with my emotions and I tried to keep them in check; however this was truly devastating and really hard for me to wrap my head around. It just didn’t make any sense to me, I kept thinking repeatedly. One minute she was alive and vibrant and the next a stroke took it all away.

As we pulled into the cemetery, I felt a chill take over my body, a lump in my throat and I begin to tremble. The car came to a halt; we exited and proceeded walk to her finally resting spot a newly marked spot with fresh covered dirt. You could feel the tension as everyone watched me, I was always the sensitive type and I never coped well with death. This was a special instance given that my grandmother and I were so close that we shared a room together and life. My everything. She was the first to know about me losing my virginity. We would giggle and laugh all night and fight like sisters at other times. She was my best friends and here I am staring down at her grave. It just didn’t seem right to me, I could not wrapped my mind around the fact that my grandmother was gone. I wanted to be strong, I wasn’t here for the funeral. I was in California and in a way I think she wanted it that way. My sister was on a plane to California to visit me for Thanksgiving the day she passed. So, I think that she wanted me to remember her happy and free from pain. As, hard as it was for me the day of her funeral that’s what I did. I celebrated her life all day with my sister through laughter and a few tears.

I walked up closer to the plot and again I notice the pile of fresh dirt.

“Brand new” I thought and I completely lost control of my emotions. I collapsed on the fresh grave and sobbed like a baby. I couldn’t understand this and why I wasn’t given the chance to say a proper goodbye. Even now it touches a spot in my soul that I try to hide. I lie there on that pile of sand, letting my tears stain the ground and wept. My family allowed me my time with her alone and for that I am grateful. But it took me a long time to realize that everything happens for a reason and it was meant for me to be in California when she passed. My grandmother wanted me to remember her in happy times and that is how she was the last time that I saw her. It took time to realize that the Lord’s will is his way. I am not angry with him anymore, because she is always with me. I finally have peace in my heart, but she will always be my best friend and I will always cherish those memories.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mother’s and grandmother’s!

Elle <3

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“Wake me up when December ends…” is an Excerpt from the book “Pieces of Me: A Collection of Poems and Short Stories” Copyright Elle Henry 2014.

Thank you Shonda Rhimes…

Thank you Shonda Rhimes…

Going into this season of Grey’s I was very unsure. I felt that it lacked the chemistry from seasons past. I wasn’t invested after Sandra Oh departed and I knew the series was going to take a hit with its audience once it moved to the new 8:00 time slot. It wasn’t the juicy show I loved and craved to watch from years ago with McSteamy in the towel and now with death of McDreamy I can go without it permanently. I don’t know or care to get to know the new cast and lets face it there is NO Mer without Der! Grey’s Anatomy used to be my staple Shondaland show from producer Shonda Rhimes. I have been a fan since the beginning, even though Shonda has managed to drag me through the five stages of grief by killing off some of my favorite characters (Denny and Sloan to name a few) also managing to ruin many of my birthdays with her dramatic season finales (My birthday is in May) by killing off some of my favorite characters (Little Grey). I sorry I already said that, blame it on the grieving. I’m accepting starbucks coffee until May 31th to get through this loss :-)

Photo abc.go.com

                      Photo abc.go.com

So imagine my angst last Thursday night when I get a Google alert from E! News That Patrick Dempsey is GOING TO BE KILLED OFF! Totally not impressed. I thought to myself “Self you are not going to chase that pavement, because Shonda is not going to ruin yet another birthday for you.” (Ode to Adele) Oh how wrong was I sitting in front of my TV yelling “Shut up!” profusely, because yet again another one of my favorite characters was dead. I couldn’t speak for an hour. I messaged my friend Sylvia (a Grey’s fan) and she was just as upset. I needed someone to talk it out with. Then I turned to twitter. Twitter was just as upset, then I read the press release from her and Patrick and I while I understand the necessity in the situation. This is not #HeiglGate (Sorry Katherine) we as fans deserve a fair warning and Patrick deserved better than a what he was giving after eleven seasons. Sandra Oh had a whole season devoted to her departure last year and quite frankly it was a complete snooze fest I could have. By the way good job Sandra you jump ship earlier this show is finished.

Here are a few times Shonda has put my life through the ringer:

  • Episode: “Losing My Religion” Denny dying (Pregnant Tears)- (May 15, 2005, my birthday thanks!)
  • Episode: ”Flight” May 17, 2010 Lexi dying (Serious tears)
  • Episode: “How to Save a life” April 23, 2015-(DEREK DYING I QUIT!)

 

Courtesy Clashdaily.com

             Courtesy Clashdaily.com

At a time in my life when I’m losing faith in television I needed to depend on my staple shows. Now I’m being force to move on and it hurts. Watching tonight’s two hour show was SERIOUSLY harsh. I hated it. It seemed rushed, jumbled and everyone was miserable. Plus, my daughter looked at me like an idiot as I cried like a baby over a fictitious character. I can’t blame her I would have done the same. Only I invested eleven years of my life into this show, I was pregnant her on bed rest watching this show crying emotionally pregnant tears over Denny’s death ON MY BIRTHDAY during the season finale in 2005. I fell in love with Adele on the season finale of 2008 when I first heard “Hometown Glory”. I cheered with Mer when she begged Derek in the OR to “Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me” over Addison. I was the twenty something girl who drank tequila and danced badly to 80’s music… I identified with Meredith (Except the promiscuity #NoJudgement lol). I understand you are the show runner and you don’t tolerate “Diva antics”; however I have watched you kill too many characters on this show and I just can’t watch it anymore. Also, why did you have to kill JJ last night? That was just mean! I must move on, I needed a drink after this episode a really strong drink and some Chipotle. My heart muscle is irretrievable broken. So I’m gonna go listen to Otis Redding, cry a river or something and remember the good times. At least I have the reruns. Thanks a lot Shonda I can’t forgive you, not even with Scandal.

I give you my two weeks notice.

Signed a truly upset fan,

Elle

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