Candidly Elle

I'm just a girl in love with words and sentences.

NaNoWriMo-Day 14 Have you crashed yet?

 

courtesy of nanowrimo.org

                  Courtesy of nanowrimo.org

For all the non writer types NaNoWriMo is contest based in the month of November to celebrate writer National November Writers Month visit NaNoWriMo.org. Each year writers from all walks of life come together with the trusty MacBookPro and an attempt to write a novel of 50,000 in 30 days. A daring task some my say and yet many of my friends have won every year.  This contest is about self-assurance and the drive you have to get your work out to the public masses. Last year was my first year I admitted that I wasn’t prepared for the contest and I didn’t utilize many the resources the site provided to me. There are many types of writers. Here are a few I have met. I personally I have done quite better this year than the latter and I owe that all to making friends and utilizing the tools to help me success. It’s day fourteen now and my word count is 11,774 it’s a number that I am proud of because it’s double than what I started and ended with last year and I plan on finishing NaNo with a complete novel that I love. I writing something that I have passion about, so at times I fall into the three categories: The Frantic, The Overachiever and The Floater The Frantic typer is the one person trying to make that unreachable word for the day. But he will stay up all night high on caffeine and lack of sleep to make it to 10k words to reach the reach milestone.

The frantic typer

 The Frantic typer

The Overacheiver she has reached her word count for the day, so she posts all over Facebook and Instagram to rub it in your face.  You laugh and this person because you know that their lives truly suck.

The Overachiever writer

The Overachiever writer

The Floater is the hare in the race the one you never would expect to when because he’s to bust goofing around not taking the competition as serious you are and his word count 987! He doesn’t care about limitations only writing with the words find him.

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This is my NaNo update for now. I will be on the 20th when the winning starts!

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Happy Writing,

Elle

More than a skin tone…

Earlier this year I had a very thought provoking conversation with some of my girlfriends about color. The book Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg was the encouraging factor, behind this conversation for me at least. We as woman were accomplishing many things in life professional, only the one barrier we still couldn’t leap over still was the racial barrier.  We have a stigma in our youth on what is right in life and for some the dream of a bright future has been deferred.  We are still living in jaded times.  Some of us may never live that American dream or move on up to have that deluxe apartment in the sky. The color issue is still alive and well, it’s about time we hash it out and move forward.  It’s the 21st century now we have an African-American President, color boundaries should be nonexistent.  This blog is based on my thoughts and a great conversation with my friends: Veronica, Juwana, Erin and Andrea. I hope you enjoy.

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As a young girl growing I never noticed the differences in color and culture.  My mother raised my brother and I to love everyone the same and treat each person with respect.  It never bothered me when my cousins nicknamed me “Hilary”(Will Smith’s proper cousin from the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air”) or the fact that I loved “No Doubt” and my cousins liked “Tupac”.  So when I recently watched a documentary called Dark Girls it made me look back and reevaluate my views on color, role models and life itself.  Growing up I was schooled primarily in a white district, with the black children always in the minority.  I was completely color blind and slightly clueless.  Looks didn’t become a focal point until high school.  I was a drama geek; my close friends were blondes, redheads and brunettes.  Lanky with not so manageable hair, at that time I couldn’t embrace my brown skin, slanted eyes and constant acne.  I wanted to look like the girls on the cover of Teen People, Seventeen and Cosmo.  Helena Christensen was my idol, beautiful model with eyes the color of ocean.   I remember the first time I saw her in Chris Isaac’s Wicked Games Video, 1991. I thought she was gorgeous. I wanted to look just like her; it was impossible my color didn’t match hers. It was the first time I ever felt different.

Chris Isaak’s Wicked Games Video, 1991.

To fit in with my friends I straightened my hair and add hair extensions to add more length.  I was pretty, but not beautiful and I could accept that. So, I enhanced with makeup to feed my poor self-esteem.  Vanity has always been the key, looking better than the next woman; while harboring self-doubt subconsciously.  But for some reason black skin has always been made to feel inferior. It was as if there weren’t black models to look up to like Iman, Beverly Johnson or the fierce Naomi Campbell.  Black women wanted straight hair and the light eyes and the models emulated that type. For Veronica color and beautiful has never really been a factor, her school was predominantly black and she never had a stigma or saw anything different.  But things are different for her daughter  “I see it with Des though. She only has one full black friend, the rest are mixed.  The other little black girls says ‘she thinks she cute’.”  In reference to Destiny’s color, she’s half Puerto Rican and African-American.  I then went on to reference that the lack of self-esteem in the physical appearance that is wavering in this culture. Destiny’s appearance is notice, because she is inherently beautiful but different due to no fault of her own.  Everyone wants to look like someone else, instead of embracing his or her own wonderful flaws.  Erin a white woman with two bi-racial son leans toward the thought that “Beauty comes in all shades.  It breaks my heart to see any woman not love her beautiful self.” While that assumption is true, it’s not easily believable for some.  The discussion then switched to a heavier tone and I was really excited, because the sugarcoating was out the window and we were getting to the root of the issues.  Why do we focus on color? Can we ever get past it or is this some that is nurtured?

To fit in with my friends I straightened my hair and add hair extensions to add more length.  I was pretty, but not beautiful and I could accept that. So, I enhanced with makeup to feed my poor self-esteem.  Vanity has always been the key, looking better than the next woman; while harboring self-doubt subconsciously.  But for some reason black skin has always been made to feel inferior. It was as if there weren’t black models to look up to like Iman, Beverly Johnson or the fierce Naomi Campbell.  Black women wanted straight hair and the light eyes and the models emulated that type. For Veronica color and beautiful has never really been a factor, her school was predominantly black and she never had a stigma or saw anything different.  But things are different for her daughter  “I see it with Des though. She only has one full black friend, the rest are mixed.  The other little black girls says ‘she thinks she cute’.”  In reference to Destiny’s color, she’s half Puerto Rican and African-American.  I then went on to reference that the lack of self-esteem in the physical appearance that is wavering in this culture. Destiny’s appearance is notice, because she is inherently beautiful but different due to no fault of her own.  Everyone wants to look like someone else, instead of embracing his or her own wonderful flaws.  Erin a white woman with two bi-racial son leans toward the thought that “Beauty comes in all shades.  It breaks my heart to see any woman not love her beautiful self.” While that assumption is true, it’s not easily believable for some.  The discussion then switched to a heavier tone and I was really excited, because the sugarcoating was out the window and we were getting to the root of the issues.  Why do we focus on color? Can we ever get past it or is this some that is nurtured?

Super Models Circa 1990, Photo Courtesy of Vogue

Super Models Circa 1990, Photo Courtesy of Vogue

“Real talk and I hate to say this about my people…The little black girls come to the bus stop with weave and make up on at 8-9 years old. They’re failing in school. It’s the parents’ fault. The white people (in my area) are teaching their kids at home and wanting more for them.”  Exclaimed Veronica who will always state the truth and I love her for it. For young girls it’s an issue and I wholehearted concur with Veronica.  I also have a light skin/hazel eyed daughter who is going through issues in the third grade regarding color and hair type; however education is promoted in my house not how you look on the exterior.  My daughter has curly hair (she’s multiracial) and is constantly asking me for a blow out so she can look like “Barbie”.  I explained to her that she is beautiful the way she was born and its knowledge that will get you ahead in life.  But an eight year old doesn’t want to hear that. Children are influenced by the surroundings they are nurtured in, if that includes a white Barbie or Selena Gomez that’s the visual interpretation will want to emulate. “I grew up in an all white neighborhood.  So I was black no matter how brown I was.  My mom looks white; I was the darkest one in our household.  I actually like to tan to look darker.  Skin color means absolutely nothing to me. Some people are awesome, some people are assholes – no matter what color or how dark or light they are.”  Juwana said.  “I think it’s mostly girls.  My sons have a wide variety of shades in friends, all races and all shades. And its not ever brought up as far as I can tell.”  Erin replied who has two biracial sons.

Me in 1999 at 17 and at 33. Courtesy of Elle Henry

Andrea another friend said “I think that there is a serious divisions amongst black people based on skin color.  I’m a caramel color and my sister is white as snow.  Same mom and dad but our skin tones are different.  I remember being asked so many times growing up if we had different fathers, if my sister was mixed and all kinds of dumb stuff.  I realized as I grew up that we as black people are trained to dislike darker skinned people.  Dark skin is associated with ugliness and evil.  The slick with the images they show us and our definition of beauty comes from them.  I had a complex about my skin color all the way to high school.  It wasn’t until college that I realized that I had beautiful toasted skin and other ethnicities went through great effort to look like me.  Brown girls aren’t obsessed with light skin.  Everybody else is.”  She also states  “We teach our kids to love themselves.  Show them images of beautiful black women and men light and dark.”  She pointed out that when we grew up there were a greater amount of books published for African-Americans.  She did not realize that she was “the darkest in my family” but she wasn’t out casted either.  Her family did a great job of making her feel beautiful.  She is also one the strongest women I know, which reflects on her up bring.

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Iman (Cover of Cosmo), Naomi (Black/White Fashion Spread) and Beverly (Cover of Vogue).

I pondered why there was a stigma against women of color.  We are always secondary on the scale when compared to the creamy white skin.  A lot of it has to do with the fact that for many years there weren’t enough sufficient black female role model for young black girls.  Then when there were they weren’t equal to the white counter parts.  The bad always outweighed the good.  We had Whitney Houston, but she will forever be known for that Diane Sawyer interview Diane Sawyer Interview (“Crack is whack” & “Show me the receipts!”).  Not for the beautiful voice that calmed a nation during the Gulf War with her rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner at Super Bowl XXV (See video link below). That is a moment in history worthy of a lifetime of respect no matter what her personal transgressions were.  But Whitney will be memorialized for substance abuse and that’s unfair, when others like Elvis are hailed as the “King of Rock n Roll” and not for his prescription drug problems.  We have role models to look up to like the late Whitney and Mariah Carey, However we focus on their failures instead of their accolades.

Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston

Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston

Whitney Houston-National Anthem Super Bowl XXV

Too many young black girls are living on a dream deferred, when we should focus on a future of plans.  Yes, we should all work hard in life, but we are still judged by the color of our skin and not by the content of our character and what we have to offer to society. We are more than just girls with weave in are hair and big butts.  When we learn that beauty truly lies within each individual and that we are made uniquely one of a kind from our creator beautiful as is. Then we can celebrate our chocolate brown skin for it’s many tones, because black is in fact beautiful. We are not inferior to the color of our skin anymore and it shouldn’t hasten the promise of what we can become.  I hope that this inspired some or even one.

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Thanks for reading,

Elle

This is dedicated to Juju, Roni, Erin and Drea .